Another dark day – Montreal AND the provincial government adopt new laws against freedom! :-(

If you live in Québec, you are probably glued to the TV or to your Facebook or Twitter accounts – wait, if you are francophone or speak French, which is more likely. I’m not implying that the Anglos or allophones don’t care, but I do know that the Francophones (whether for or against the student boycott) are VERY outraged. I am not a francophone ‘de souche’ but consider myself a québecer. I live and work in French, and have paid taxes to the provincial government since 1993. I have always worked in education, but today, I have never been more disgusted and profoundly saddened about the latest turn of events.

Our provincial, Liberal government has recently taken the ‘hard line’ – times 10! Last night they proposed a new bill forcing students back to school. Ok, you may say, “I’m fed up, it’s about time!” - they need to go back. But it’s MUCH MORE THAN THAT – it’s the severity of this law and the WAY it’s been done is what disgusts me – they have lied, and have been lying for a while now. They are not respecting the students’ or the populations’ rights, and they refuse to speak to the leaders of the student associations. They have played coy and have insisted that the STUDENTS are the ones to blame….but no, the exact opposite is true. I have been following this saga closely, and I have read not only French papers, but English papers too. And not just Québec papers – outside of Québec too. And the ways that things are being reported is a lot of  PROPAGANDA. On all sides. I am disgusted. What ever happened to objective journalism? Did it end with CNN and OJ? At this point, that’s what I think. And I fear that we are really governed by an TOTALITARIAN government, not a democratic one. Now I’m not naive enough to believe that our society is totally democratic – it hasn’t been so for a long time. But now it’s openly clear – we will be FORCED to obey laws and rules that a small number of people want – NOT what the collective wants. And according to lawyers, this new bill goes against the most basic HUMAN RIGHTS. Here’s the latest sad news – I’m posting things I believe are reported objectively:

1. Bill 78: “…The legislation provides for fines of between $1,000 and $5,000 for any individual who prevents someone from entering an educational institution.

The penalties climb to between $7,000 and $35,000 for a student leader and to between $25,000 and $125,000 for unions or student federations.

Bill 78 also lays out strict regulations governing student demonstrations, including having to give eight hours notice for details such as the itinerary, the duration and the time at which they are being held.

The legislation would also pause the current academic session for striking students and have it resume in August. …” Global News

2. Montréal City Council passes bylaw to ban mask wearing during protests: “..The bylaw, which makes it illegal to wear a mask during a public demonstration without “a valid excuse” and requires march organizers to provide authorities with demonstration routes, could go into effect as early as Saturday. …The vote passed with 33 in favour of the anti-mask law and 25 opposed. Read it on Global News

No one is happy – last night, once the bill was proposed in the National Assembly, protests started. Thousands of people took to the streets of Montréal AND Québec to protest. The Viger Tunnel was blocked in Montreal, and the police had to be called in….again. Parents, students, citizens….anyone who doesn’t want his human rights taken away are now outraged….And today, as you read above, Montreal’s City Council has now banned masks while protesting. This will be in effect as of tomorrow.

3. “…Student and union leaders held a joint news conference this morning as the debate over Bill 78 continued in the National Assembly.[...]

“Bill 78 stipulates any organized public gathering involving more than 10 people must be registered with the police at least eight hours in advance.[...] Michel Arsenault, the president of the Quebec Federation of Labour, said limits on what defines a ‘lawful’ demonstration are unreasonable[...]

“This is actually a declaration of war against the student movement and not only against the student movement, but it restricted the liberty of speech, the liberty of association,” Martine Desjardins of the university students’ federation, said Wednesday.[...]

Louis Masson, the head of Quebec’s bar association, said the provisions in the bill threaten many basic rights, including freedom of speech and the right to demonstrate peacefully.[...] He said the bill creates so many roadblocks to creating a peaceful demonstration, that it will effectively deter people from even trying.”Who will accept to participate to any organization with more than 10 people?” he said. “There are so many risks that an honest citizen practically will not go there.” Read it on CBC News

The Bill is still being debated, but with the Liberal Majority, it will surely pass. The other parties are trying to get amendments, but regardless, it looks like the Bill will be applied any time now. I expect mayhem, and if you live in Montreal or Quebec, don’t go downtown tonight – unless you plan on joining the protesters. By the way, both Martine Desjardins and Léo Bureau-Blouin (FEUC and FECQ leaders) have publicly said they have made numerous attempts to negotiate with the government – they had new proposals, and even asked to meet with the Premier. Despite their good faith, all were rejected by the government.

The Op-Ed Remains the Same

Reblogged from Mike Spry:

Yesterday, the Quebec student strike claimed if not its first than its most prominent casualty. Line Beauchamp, Quebec Minister for Education, resigned her post in both Premier Jean Charest’s cabinet and the National Assembly. As for Ms. Beauchamp, rest assured I imagine she has some sort of severance package to cushion her fall into the private sector, and given her age and education I would further assume that her student loan debt, if she had one, has been paid off for some time.

Read more… 1,761 more words

More food for thought on the Québec Student Boycott...

16 Lessons we’ve learned from Oprah’s lifeclass (reblog)

As you know, I love Oprah, especially her Lifeclass series. This season, she went on tour -visited different cities in the US and even came to Canada! (Toronto). Here is a resume of the lessons learned. I am including the link directly to her site, but will also list them here for your reading pleasure.

1.”Everybody’s life is either a warning or an example. You’ve got to decide what you’re gonna be and you have to draw a line in the sand.” —Tony Robbins

2.”Forget all your learnings. Just remember that now is the moment that never ends.” —Deepak Chopra

3. ”When you’re the strong one, people don’t give you permission to hurt.” —Iyanla Vanzant

4.”The most dangerous thing in the world is to have no purpose.” —Bishop T.D. Jakes

5.”If you tell yourself a lie long enough, you’ll start to believe it.” —Tony Robbins

6.”No matter what the situation is…close your eyes and think of all the things you could be grateful for in your life right now. Once your heart opens, you’ll see the abundance around you.” —Deepak Chopra

7.”You can’t wait for the perfect situation. Find something you love. People you love. And get out there and you’ll discover it.” —Tony Robbins

8. ”Greatness is contagious…You’ll catch it if you get around it.” —Bishop T.D. Jakes

9. ”Everybody’s got a past. The past does not equal the future unless you live there.” —Tony Robbins

10.”When you give to others to the degree that you sacrifice yourself, you make the other person a thief.” —Iyanla Vanzant, paraphrasing A Course in Miracles

11.”If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.” —Bishop T.D. Jakes

12.”If you’re gonna make a change…operate from a new belief that says life happens not to me but for me.” —Tony Robbins

13.”The most wonderful thing in the world is somebody who knows who they are and knows where they’re going and knows what they were created to do.” —Bishop T.D. Jakes

14.”Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” —Tony Robbins

15.”I use memories but I will not allow memories to use me.” —Deepak Chopra

16.”Self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I don’t mean self-consciousness where you’re limiting and evaluating yourself. I mean being aware of your own patterns.” —Tony Robbins

P.S. Since watching Lifeclass, The Tour, I decided to buy T.D. Jakes’ book “Let it Go”. Here is the link to his website but you can buy it from Amazon or from Chapters. It’s quite inspiring!

It’s a beautiful sunny day, but a dark day in the Québec student boycott

The education minister just quit. She said that not only is she quitting her job, but quitting politics. While things are a mess, I believe she did the best she could under her government’s wishes. She is the scapegoat, if you ask me.

Her successor has already been appointed; the person who was education minister before her. This person left the position after a scandal. And when she was in power, she:

- changed the report cards from A-B-C to marks and percentages, which goes AGAINST the competency-based program curriculum.

- she was in hot water over the daycare issue.

- she wanted to bring dictations back as a form of evaluation – not bad in itself, but the message understood by most was that the competency-based curriculum wasn’t working, which is what many wanted to hear. They thought they could go back to their archaic ways of evaluating.

I fear mayhem, but have heard that the ‘new’ person has been around the negotiating table, and was more open to the students‘ cause. We’ll see…

There were gas bombs set off in Montréal’s subway system last week, which closed down the whole system. 4 university students have been charged, but no one knows if they were active in the student associations’ movement or if they were on their own. The press isn’t saying, nor are they. But the students are supporting them in court; however, after it happened, all the associations denounced all violence. So who knows.

But the students are losing public support, as the boycott is in its 92nd day. Everyone is fed up, regardless of their opinion of the movement.

My college is still out, but 16 students have an injunction to attend classes, which has happened  for a week now without incident as our student association negotiated with the college….but more students who want to return to classes are planning to ask for another injunction….

Will it ever end? I hope so but I fear not. If you want to know more, check out these articles (in English) and make your own decision.

Godspeed to all of us caught up in this….we really need it.

Hébert: Québec Student Crisis Badly Mismanaged by Jean Charest’s Government

Québec Education Minister Quits Over Tuition Dispute

Michelle Courchesne sworn in as new Québec education minister

Spring is Good for the Soul!

Today was a balmy, sunny day in Montréal. 20+ degrees, with a slight wind. Fabulous!

Today gave me energy. I cleaned my BBQ, washed the dirt and grime off my patio, bought myself some patio chairs. I spent a couple of hours outside doing this, and felt rejuvenated. I was so inspired that I even sat on my patio and simply let the wind blow over me. I’d love to say that I let the wind blow through my hair, but I don’t have much, but it did wash over me like a calming shower. The sun-kissed my cheeks, and as I sat there, I heard the typical noises: other people hanging out on their balconies, drinking a cocktail, groovy music playing.

I did the same. I poured myself a nice glass of red, and enjoyed it. Once my BBQ was in working order, I prepared a scrumptious supper – bavette (steak), potatoes, onions and mushrooms. I hooked up my iPOD and chose some lounge music to accompany me. Heaven.

My 2 kitties were drawn to the fabulous weather too. They started meowing, asking me to let them outside. My Zoé, who is not yet a year old, was very excited. I had to block the staircase as I knew she’d be curious, but as soon as I opened the door, out she went. Gisèle, my ‘scaredy’ cat, even poked her head outside and ventured out….for but a minute or two. She’s afraid of her own shadow, so she quickly returned to the safety of my kitchen. But I could tell that the sun and warm wind did her good.

Once my supper was ready, I ate it outside with the kitties. Pure heaven! I felt ‘Zen‘, calm and happy in my heart. These simple things are so important to well-being. Life gets so crazy, especially in the city – but I cherish these special moments. I can empty my head, appreciate the foliage around me, breathe in the summer-like wind. No worries, no stress….how lucky I am to have the time to ‘unplug’ and enjoy!

Spring and summer allow us these special times – but not everyone takes advantage of them. Sitting alone on a balcony, with good food, good wine and good company (yes, cats are VERY good company!) is so important to keeping balance and good “mental’ health. Nothing to do but relax and enjoy!

I look forward to more days like this – and I wish you the same. Take the time to experience the quiet, the wonderful world around you. Whether you do it alone, with friends or with animals, it really does the soul good!

“Spring is sooner recognized by plants than by men.”  ~Chinese Proverb

“Out with the cold, in with the woo.”  ~E. Marshall, “Spring Thought”

“If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.”  ~Nadine Stair

Québec is the Canada We SHOULD Want (Reblog)

This is one of the most enlightening articles I’ve read in a long time – and for once some positive thoughts on how great Québec is…or CAN be, if we’d just listen. Everyone! Quebec is the Canada We Should Want

Quebec is the Canada We Should Want

Posted on May 8, 2012

When I was a kid I loved maps. I loved the element of the unknown, physical and tangible representations of places I could only imagine. When I was about 8 or 9 my parents bought me a map of the world for my wall. Each country on the map was coloured to represent the official language of each nation. I have this fond recollection of an affection I had for the Canada of that map, bold in its red and blue stripes representing French and English. It might be my first memory of pride, especially as the big red blotch below us, the USA, was simply red. It wasn’t just about language, it was about unity, and diversity, and being Canadian.

As I grew up, and visited much of the country, living for many years in a few of its corners, those feelings reconciled. But in the past few months, having left Quebec after seven years and relocating to Toronto, and after being witness to the protests of Quebec students and the offensive manner in which the mainstream media has treated them as spoiled children, that notion I had of Canada as a child has dwindled a bit. And it has led me to think that Quebec, a province so often concerned with what makes it distinct from Canada, is in fact the last bastion of what I believe Canada to be, what I was raised understanding it to be, and what I saw in my reverie as I stared into the heart of those maps as a child.

The student protest is just one element of the Canada I see in Quebec. The Globe and Mail’s editorial board wrote this morning that Quebec Premier Jean Charest’s compromise with the students was “sending a message that Quebec’s social entitlements will not last forever.” They went on to describe these entitlements: $7-a-day daycare, lowest tuition in Canada, subsidized hydro-electricity, and reasonably priced pharmaceuticals. The use of the word “entitlements” was a poor choice, but one the Globe obviously choose as a slight of those who believe that such “entitlements” are an essential part of the fabric of this nation. Here, it has a negative connotation that suggests that Quebec is Canada’s petulant child. Instead, I see these as the social necessities that are fundamental to not only the human condition, but also the success of a social democracy.

The unique quality of Quebec is something that arguably grown and evolved in the past quarter decade, ironic in that the separatist movement’s greatest fear is a bastardized and assimilated Quebec. But it is a distinct society, and no Meech Lake agreement or referendum is needed to affirm that notion. Is there another part of Canada with such a distinct cuisine (I know, I know, Atlantic Canada has its seafood, and Newfoundland is full of screech soaked crazies eating ten kinds of cod. But, like, six people live down there. And they don’t have an NHL team) as Quebec’s? Tortiere, cretons, baked beans, pea soup, maple dishes, rotisserie chicken, cabanes à sucre, and bagels. Bagels! I’ve lived in Toronto for six months, and I miss bagels like the drowning miss oxygen. And don’t even get me started on poutine. Oh, La Banquise, je t’aime. Et tu me manques.

There is progression in Quebec, both socially and culturally, that is noticeably absent in the rest of Canada. Not that I don’t love the rest of this country, but in the past decade it seems to have assimilated, gentrified, and not just in adding Starbucks and Timmy’s everywhere. I believe a lot of it has to do with the ideological shift to the right, an affection for capitalism over socialism. Perhaps it’s simply the mix of French and English that give Quebec a false notion of progress. Either way, Canada was built on a foundation of social programs and nationalism, and it’s odd to me that Quebec is the one province that continues to aspire to those ideals.

In Toronto, it always seems like we’re all schmoozing, like we should go to the pub wearing our mortgages and T4s printed on our Gap tees, and that the rest of Canada is simply details. And they elected Rob Ford. Have you ever been to Calgary? It’s horrible. It’s like Houston but without good Mexican food. It’s dripping in oil and money and right-wing sensibilities. It’s whiter than a John Mayer Unplugged concert. Everybody is related to the Sutters. It’s where Stephen Harper is most comfortable. The rest of Alberta actually considered the Wildrose party, so they’re a write-off. Vancouver doesn’t count, because there’s no snow, they hockey-riot wrong, and it kind of feels like a giant outdoor mall. Manitoba has too many black flies. I don’t even know where Saskatchewan is. Twelve people live in the Northwest and Yukon, and I still have to consult a map to remind myself of which territory Whitehorse is in and which one Yellowknife is in.

I make these claims about the rest of Canada with my bilingual tongue firmly implanted in my left cheek, but in a time when newspapers and much of the rest of the country are condemning students for standing up for their “entitlements,” shouldn’t the rest of us be doing the same? And by simply stating these entitlements “are on a European model that Europe can no longer afford, and that have tipped Quebec’s finances dangerously out of balance” is taking the easy way out., as well as ignoring the many countries (Germany, Denmark, Sweden) where social values thrive within their system.

There is a richness, a depth to Quebec that is evidence of not a culture of entitlement, but rather enlightenment. A lower drinking age, dépanneurs, a Francophone celebrity culture, successful indigenous film and television industries, cheese curds in gas stations, topless lunch buffets, a uniting affection for Les Canadiens, and, yes, a long history of social protest. All of these entities are elements of a people who make demands of their government and state, not for the Quebec they believe they deserve, but rather for the Canada we need.

Instead of condemning the students for wanting their tuition to remain reasonable, why doesn’t the rest of the country stand up and demand the same thing? Instead of questioning the validity of $7-a-day daycare, why not ask why daycare in Toronto, in Edmonton, in Victoria, and in Dawson City isn’t equally affordable? The simple answer, the answer that lacks ambition or ingenuity, is that it’s an impossibility. That we live in a world where social programs are the first to be cut, because they’re the least essential. Because someone making $150K-a-year in Calgary, doesn’t give a damn about someone making $30K in Montreal. And frankly, that’s straight up bullshit. And it’s lazy. Canada was built on ambitious notions, on the steadfast belief that a country could be all things. Waving our collective finger in the nose of the Quebec students, the Quebec people, and telling them they can’t have their “entitlements” because the rest of Canada is afraid to ask for them, makes Canada the petulant child.

I always pictured Canada as this great meeting of cultures, brought together by hockey and a belief in simple social values, that a basic tenet of being Canadian was in that we believed in taking care of one another, and how we valued contributions to our culture from all corners of our society, no matter the collective expense. This is why we have universal healthcare, why tuition is subsidized, why arts funding exists, why EI exists. It’s what separates us from the animals, or at least separates us from the Americans. And as the students battle on in Quebec, I hope that the rest of the country takes notice. Like the students, we shouldn’t be afraid of asking for what we believe in, and in doing so reminding the rest of the country of how we got here in the first place.

When Motherhood Never Happens (Reblog)

This article, from Jezebel, really speaks to me. And I know I am not alone. Maybe it’ll speak to you too…

“…Still, no one ever said to me, “Thank you. Thank you for giving the biggest possible gift to the planet by not having a child—bigger than any other act— not owning a car or not flying.” No one ever gives people without children any credit….”

MOTHERHOOD

BY DODAI STEWART

MAY 8, 2012 5:20 PM

When Motherhood Never Happens

Cameron Diaz, one of the many castmembers in What To Expect When You’re Expecting, is 39 years old, unmarried, and childless. No kids. She didn’t know it was going to be this way.

“I thought I was going to be married and have two children by the time I was 21,” Diaz explains in the new June issue of Redbook. “I think I felt I had to model my life after my mother’s.” But Diaz feels fairly confident about her decision to go in a different direction:

My career was starting to take off and there were still so many things I wanted to do… So that dream [of motherhood] for me was shattered early on. After that I never put another time line on anything in my life.

She’s one of many women who, at a young age, think about having children “someday”… Only to grow older and find that that day never comes. It’s perhaps exacerbated by the fact that more and more, we’re “younger” longer — vibrant, sneaker-wearing, concert-going grownups of 25 and 45 seem the same. Except if you’re a woman, your biology at 45 is vastly different from that at 25. Fertility is a window that closes.

In a piece published in the Motherlode section of The New York Times this weekend, Eve Lederman writes: “I’ve found myself in my mid-40s, minus a partner, and with seven billion people on the planet furiously chanting, ‘Bay-bee, bay-bee…’ Not because I want a child, and not because I don’t. It’s more that I don’t not want one…”

Ambivalence. Indecision. Fear.

Lederman puts it this way:

I’m afraid of undertaking motherhood alone, in a tiny apartment with a three-flight walk up and little savings. I’m equally scared of the drone of doing so with a husband and a good job in a nice home. And what I fear the most is missing the indescribably deep connection with a child that yields a lifetime of stories.

Of course, eventually, not making a decision is the decision.

And if a woman decides not to have children, she often feels forced to explain.

Says Diaz:

I’m sure a lot of people would expect that I would have had a child by my age. But it’s not what I’ve wanted out of my life thus far. We still live in a largely chauvinistic world. There’s a box people put themselves in, and when you [live] outside of it, that makes them uncomfortable — they have to look at themselves and question their own choices.

On the Redbook website, this quote is accompanied by a photograph of Diaz and her castmates wearing heels and little white dresses. Diaz is pushing a baby carriage. And laughing.

Still, there is a difference between choosing to be childless and just waking up realizing it’s happening to you. Some women know, for sure: I don’t want children. Other women work, love, live, only to discover that they’ve crossed an unmarked border into new territory, where everything looks exactly the same, only now you’re that woman who never had kids.

Even though Lederman reports that 46 percent of American women are childless through age 44, those statistics actually refer to women aged 15 to 44. If you look at women aged 40-44, only 18% are childless. No wonder it can be unsettling, feel strange, to realize what’s happened. To acknowledge what you are. A woman who is not a mother.

(I am in the very final year of my 30s, single, no kids, facing the very real possibility that I may never have any.)

Ambivalence. Indecision. Fear.

As friends and colleagues get hitched and have babies, sometimes I start to feel like a straggler at a party. Everyone’s gone home, what am I still doing here?

In the comments of Lederman’s Times piece, a “childless, relationship-less” 46-year-old woman who calls herself Janis describes her experience on the other side of the invisible line.

It’s a strange thing. I do feel a sense of isolation, but it’s sort of the reverse of what most people assume it is. Much to the chagrin of many people I’ve known over the years, I don’t wish I were “normal,” with a husband and kids. I’ve never been overwhelmingly feminine or “normal” by any stretch in my life, even as a child. But I do wish that there were more people on my side of the fence. I do feel the sense of vague homelessness of not having an “own kind,” but I don’t want to be their kind. I’d just like to live in a world for once that was not 100% calibrated to the satisfaction of appetites that I don’t seem to share. I’ve often felt like a member of a species that reproduces by fission that was born on this planet by mistake, metaphorically speaking. I don’t want to be one of the types that seem to comprise the rest of my species, but I would like to HAVE a species at least.

Feeling isolated, like a freak, socially pressured, is definitely part of the problem. Women are flooded with mommy propaganda, whether it be celebrity-oriented Unsolicited Uterus Updates and “baby weight” progress stories or Facebook feeds filled with ultrasounds, baby bumps, infant photos, toddler videos and report cards. The Jennifer Aniston tabloid narrative — in which she is not a person but a character, a woman smiling and fit and happy yet apparently deeply sad that she’s unmarried and childless — is a haunting reminder that if you’re not doing what’s expected of you — pairing up, mating, reproducing — you must be doing something wrong. Actually:There must be something wrong with you.

(Ambivalence. Indecision. Fear.)

If you really really want something, you go for it. That much we know. But if you don’t? If you’re unsure? If there are extenuating circumstances? What if the money, time, physical/mental health and partner aren’t there? How does one press on? What keeps childless women from staring out of a window day in, day out, weeping at the confusing injustice and senselessness of it all? In a perfect world, it wouldn’t even be an issue, it would be like, hey, you do you, I do me, everything’s cool, la la la. Whatever. But this world is baffling: You’re meant to make something of yourself, work hard, contribute to society in a meaningful way. And once you fight tooth and nail to establish yourself with not just a job but a career, you’re chastised: What, no kids?

Not having kids, having kids, letting life make the decision for you, regret, desire, the fucking Aniston headlines, it’s a lot. They say the unexamined life is not worth living. I’d argue that on the other hand, the over-analyzed life is a suffocating wet blanket. Sometimes you have to just be.

And maybe instead of picturing myself as the straggler at the party, it’s important to see beyond all the baby mama drama, recognize that on this side of the fence, there’s plenty of love, good times, late nights, late mornings, travel, shopping, joy, indulgence, pleasure, accomplishment. It might not be celebrated, revered, fetishized on TV and in magazines the way the motherhood narrative is, but it’s there. It exists. If I end up staying at this party instead of heading to the other party, it’s still party, and if we’re not praised, we should praise ourselves. We congratulate women when they get pregnant; why don’t we congratulate women who do not? Louisa in Eureka writes:

I am 60, no children, two step-children. As a woman who chose not to have kids, I was fortunate, compared to others I know: I received no pressure from family, and I did find my tribe, though I understand what Janis means when she says she felt “homeless” sometimes.

Still, no one ever said to me, “Thank you. Thank you for giving the biggest possible gift to the planet by not having a child—bigger than any other act— not owning a car or not flying.” No one ever gives people without children any credit.

Helping the planet was not my reason for not having children, of course; that wasn’t on my radar or the culture’s radar 30-odd years ago. But it was the end result. And I resent the fact that no one ever acknowledges that.

Cameron Diaz: Thought I’d be Married with 2 kids by age 21 (Redbook)

It’s Not That I Don’t Want Children. Exactly. (New York Times)

Quebec Student Boycott – the Saga Continues

On Friday night, there was a huge riot in Victoriaville, where the PLQ had moved their convention. They did it because they thought that holding it in Montreal, where students have been protesting for a number of weeks now, would be too dangerous. Boy, were they WRONG!!!

The various student associations, their supporters and unfortunately ‘hangers on’ who only wanted mayhem, followed the government officials to Victoriaville – in organized groups by bus, and surely by other means. The government, police and the town of Victoriaville expected the students’ presence, so they prepared. But I don’t think anyone was REALLY prepared for what happened.

Friday was a rainy day – quite fitting with the overall sentiment not only of the students, but of our province as a whole. While the students who have been protesting planned a NON-VIOLENT protest, just as they have been doing here in Montréal, we all know that it only takes a few ‘rotten apples to ruin the basket.’ And I am so very disappointed that that’s what happened….the riot was the worst yet.

“Nine people were injured and 109 arrested after Friday night’s violent demonstration in Victoriaville, Que., where police said a group of rioters infiltrated a student protest and confronted the anti-riot squad.

Three people were apprehended in a car filled with equipment police said could be used to provoke a riot. More arrests are possible….”Student Riot in Quebec Leads to More Than 100 Arrests

“MONTREAL — A protester reportedly lost an eye after suffering head trauma, one of several injuries that occurred after events got out of hand at a tuition protest in Victoriaville that started at around 6:45 p.m. Friday.

Demonstrators stormed past barriers, tossing rocks and other projectiles, while police responded with tear gas and rubber bullets, in a series of skirmishes that ended with 106 arrests. Another three were arrested Saturday morning after being found with objects that could be used for violence.

Three SQ police officers were hurt, two seriously, and six demonstrators were also injured in the clashes.

Along with the protester clinging to life, another two suffered serious injuries, one a man with an injury to the head and the other a woman coping with a blow to the face.” Multiple Injuries, 106 Arrests at Victoriaville Riot

I watched some of it LIVE – my heart was so sad, I felt so disappointed and wondered what in the hell is the world coming to. Things just got way, way out of hand. The student groups’ representatives were invited back to the bargaining table as the events unfolded – ALL of them, including the CLASSE – so they headed off to Québec City to sit down with the government representatives….we were in a state of CRISIS.

As things went from bad to worse, all associations pleaded for a stop to the violence, and I could see the fatigue and disappointment on their faces. I went to bed wondering what I would wake up to this morning.

Well, when I turned on the TV at around 10:00 am, a news conference was starting – the mayor of Victoriaville, the head of the police squad (Surété du Québec) and a few other people explained the damage….very disconcerting. We also learned, during this broadcast, that the government and the students were still negotiating and had been doing so throughout the night.

During the day, we heard that an agreement had been reached, but that the student association representatives had to present the offer to their members and that a vote would follow.

“The three main leaders of Quebec’s 12-week tuition strike explained Saturday night that the tentative agreement they reached with the government calls for creation of a “provisional council’” that would review spending by universities, turning over the savings the council finds to reduce extra fees that students pay on top of their tuition fees.

In the first year the offer calls for reducing extra fees by $127, while the two sides work on transforming the provisional council into a permanent council, with an ongoing mandate to review university spending and to return 100 per cent of the savings back to students.

Extra fees in Quebec universities average $537 a year, and the students estimate they will rise to $900 as the $1,778 tuition hike, which would agree to as part of the settlement, is implemented….”  Québec, Students Strike Tentative Deal on Tuition, Extra Fees

This is all well and good, but to quote the leader of the FECQ, “The strike does not end,” said Leo Bureau-Blouin, adding, “there will be no recommendation” to students on whether to accept the offer. “

So nothing to celebrate yet.

And I’ve been reading blogs, and postings on Facebook from people who were present, who were in Victoriaville….they described their fear, that they were ‘gassed’ by the  Police Riot Squad who were equipped with gas masks – the protesters obviously weren’t. One man wrote that things were not yet violent when the first gas bomb was released…so one can imagine that probably contributed to the mayhem that followed.

So I’m trying to be positive, and I know that I represent many who are simply fed up with this ‘crisis’ whether for or against but my gut is worried and still sad. I sincerely hope that things do start to improve due to this offer, but….

As I watch the news while writing this, I hear that students are still protesting in the streets of Montréal.

Depression: Shedding Light on the Darkness (reblog)

More interesting insight on Depression from Deepak Chopra. He just tweeted that he believes it is no surprise it is an invisible epidemic.

If you’re interested in finding out more, read his blog post: Depression: Shedding Light on the Darkness

 

 

Anxiety – the Often Forgotten-about or Not-talked-about Disorder

Anxiety – everyone experiences it. Some deal with it, some don’t and some don’t even know they have it. Over the last few years, through my therapy for Depression, I have come to understand that I also suffer from anxiety, and have since I was a child.

Anxiety (also called angst or worry) is a psychological and physiological state characterized by somatic, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral components.It is the displeasing feeling of fear and concern.The root meaning of the word anxiety is ‘to vex or trouble‘; in either presence or absence of psychological stress, anxiety can create feelings of fear, worry, uneasiness, and dread. Anxiety is considered to be a normal reaction to a stressor. It may help an individual to deal with a demanding situation by prompting them to cope with it. When anxiety becomes excessive, it may fall under the classification of an anxiety disorder.

The behavioral effects of anxiety may include withdrawal from situations which have provoked anxiety in the past. Anxiety can also be experienced in ways which include changes in sleeping patterns, nervous habits, and increased motor tension like foot tapping.  The symptoms of anxiety include excessive and ongoing worry and tension, an unrealistic view of problems, restlessness or a feeling of being “edgy”, irritability, muscle tension, headaches,sweating, difficulty concentrating, nausea, the need to go to the bathroom frequently, tiredness, trouble falling or staying asleep, trembling, and being easily startled. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety)

As I write this, I am conscious that I am experiencing anxiety. While I don’t believe I have an anxiety disorder, I am aware that certain situations have, and still, make me feel it. Being aware of something is the first step to overcoming it, right? Here are things that make ME anxious:

1. Anything involving my family, particularly my MOTHER.
2. Feeling like I did something terribly wrong; like I disappointed someone or that I should have known better. (Not getting it right the first time!)

Here are my symptoms when in an anxious state:

1. Feeling ‘edgy’, restless or irritable.
2. Trembling – more ‘inside’ my body than outside.
3. Having increased motor tension – usually it’s in my fingers, hands or feet.

Although I have learned to ‘deal’ with my mother and her narcissism, I have to admit that I am still (and always will be) affected by it. Usually anxiety is the consequence of unpleasant interactions with her. Also, I have realized that if anyone in my entourage (colleagues or friends) repeat my mother’s narcissistic behaviours (these people are not necessarily narcissists nor do they know they are doing it), their BEHAVIOUR affects me at my core. Some of the common behaviours that make ME anxious:

1. Being (overly) critical. It’s all a matter of perception, you see.
2. Telling me what to do and/or how to do it.
3. Projecting: Psychological projection or projection bias is a psychological defense mechanism where a person subconsciously denies his or her own attributes, thoughts, and emotions, which are then ascribed to the outside world, usually to other people. Thus, projection involves imagining or projecting the belief that others originate those feelings. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection)

Before my Depression and subsequent therapy, I used to repeat the aforementioned behaviours. Now I am not a narcissist, (believe me, I thought I was but my therapist assured me I wasn’t; that it was impossible for me to be), but obviously I, too, acted defensively when I felt attacked. This behaviour is one I have worked on extensively – trying to NOT take things so personally – but that too is still hard for me. I have to keep telling myself, “It’s not you, it’s not even about you. It’s about her/him. Don’t get manipulated into believing you did something wrong when you know in your heart you didn’t.” This is my mantra! But when a regular person has undergone repeated attacks by others, over a number of years, the obvious reaction is to become defensive – it’s a protection mechanism.

So why the anxiety now? Well, I am planning a trip back to my hometown in August of this year. Yes, three months in the future! But I must tell you that I have experienced dread, fear – you name it – while trying to book my plane ticket and decide the dates of my visit over the last week. You see, I’m primarily going to attend my 25th High School Reunion (which I’m VERY excited about!) yet everything outside of the reunion is already stressing me out. How long I’ll stay, where I’ll stay (I’m still not comfortable staying at my mother’s), what I’ll do, who I’ll see, where I’ll go….It’s like I become a child again, like I go back to being 12 again and feeling I have to do what my mother wants, not what I want. I hate that feeling, but I know that’s what happens – I return to my ‘old’ patterns. Since I have evolved as a person, have obviously grown up and am a responsible adult, I feel conflicting feelings: inadequate, innocent, un-knowing, controlled. (As I write these sentences, the anxiety is mounting inside me – and I’m over 2000 kms away from my hometown!) Yet I know(logically) I am more than capable of planning and executing my trip.

My mother knows I’m coming to visit; she has already asked me invasive questions, things that make me question my ability to plan the trip (“Plane tickets are expensive, what are YOU going to do?” “I understand you have to rent a car while you are here (my mom doesn’t drive, therefore no car and there is no public transit available), how are you going to pay for that?” “How long will you be visiting? You know that if you spend all that money you should stay awhile…”)The pressure I feel only grows – my reaction is to either clam up or BITE BACK! I used to bite back only to suffer destructive and toxic consequences, so now I just say nothing….but the self-control I need is taxing, exhausting, nerve-wracking! As I said, I don’t even have to ‘deal’ with this stressful situation for another 3 months but…!!!!!

I have a few colleagues, one especially, who,in my humble opinion, often acts like my mother. She has worked there longer than I have, does things differently than I do, but is a colleague, NOT a boss. For some reason, she gets under my skin. I try and try to be nice, but she ‘bites’ when I ask a question she doesn’t agree with or if I make a comment she doesn’t like. I say nothing at first, but she keeps coming back. (I firmly believe she is a narcissist however, as I observe how she acts with myself and others). Eventually, I don’t bite back as hard, but I make my opinion clear and I don’t mince my words. I’m not mean, but I’m not as diplomatic as I am with others. When I don’t understand something, I ask for clarification. If my question is received with arrogance, condescendence, as if I was asking the most absurd thing, I get ANXIOUS. I start to lose emotional control…I tell myself it’s not about me, but still, such situations exhaust me. I end up ending the conversation – today, when a similar situation to what I have just described happened, I said (or emailed) nothing in response to her ‘mean’ answer to my question. I let it go. But she kept coming back…2-3 emails that only got more and more negative. She projected on me, accused me of being ‘unfair’…tried calling me (I refused to answer), and even emailed me telling me she wanted to talk to me. I told her I was busy, and we’d talk in person next week. She replied by email by saying, “Ok, you don’t have time for me, but I’m very disappointed in you and your behaviour. You are not a team player.” ME? Not a team player? Ok, she really hit me where it hurt. Her unfairness was just too much. I got up from my desk, walked around, and told myself to breathe. I waited about a half hour, and then answered. Maybe I shouldn’t have, but my reply was very nice, I didn’t attack her back, and I ended it with, “As I said, we’ll talk in person about this next week. Have a great weekend.” I was shaking as I wrote, I felt edgy, restless, and had ALOT of motor tension (See my anxiety symptoms listed above). She ultimately replied (she has to have the last word) but it was much LESS negative than the previous emails. She even ended it with a . Now I’m not stupid enough to believe that we won’t have a possibly ‘heated’ discussion when we do see each other – she’ll initiate it, I’m also convinced – so I will carry anxiety with me all weekend. I will meditate, try to keep calm, but it’s so very hard. I can’t control her (nor do I want to) but I will NOT ALLOW her to control me. Just like I can’t tolerate it when my MOTHER tries to control me. That’s what narcissists do; and they don’t even realize they are doing it. And there’s NO point in explaining….they’ll never get it. So I have to find ways to stay calm, get through it and move on without having a panic attack or bursting out into tears. What a challenge!

I’ve just poured myself a glass of wine, will watch TV (something entertaining or funny) when I’m done writing this, and will meditate before going to sleep. But the anxious dread will not totally dissipate. I will do my best to bury it so that I can enjoy a stress-free weekend. That is, if my mother doesn’t call me!?

“Oh the nerves, the nerves; the mysteries of this machine called man!  Oh the little that unhinges it, poor creatures that we are!”  ~Charles Dickens

“A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.”  ~John Lubbock

“Worry is a god, invisible but omnipotent.  It steals the bloom from the cheek and lightness from the pulse; it takes away the appetite, and turns the hair gray.”  Benjamin Disraeli

“Worry is a futile thing, it’s something like a rocking chair, although it keeps you occupied it doesn’t get you anywhere.” Anonymous